One thing at a time

And lessons in life from an 82-year old cheese monger.

Recently, I found myself in a crisis of focus.

I had just signed a 2-day-a-week contract with an agency I love, which meant that I suddenly had two big projects on the go and three smaller ones to keep an eye on. An absolute deluge of work that I was delighted to tackle, but the volume of which I was no longer used to after months moving at a steady but spacious pace.

Wanting to remain as flexible and proactive as possible, I found myself flitting between tasks and clients — if a file for one client was taking a long time to load, I would quickly check if any emails had come in from the other, forgetting that I had even opened the file in the first place, and only remembering it existed when I closed several tabs and windows hours later.

I found it happening outside of work too. Rushing out the door, running errands, dog in hand, trying to choose a podcast, not looking where I was going, I would wonder why I felt frazzled and hot and detached from reality. I was trying to do a million things at once, and as I have learnt many times before, that is not how I work or live best. At my first job out of university, I remember writing at the top of my notebook “ONE THING AT A TIME.” A mantra that, 7 years later, I’m pulled back to once again.

When I flip between things, whether in work or wider existence, my life feels as though it’s being divided, against my will, into short, sharp fragments. Fragments within which I don’t have time or space to make real progress or draw enjoyment or meaning or understanding.

So, after a few days feeling like my brain might splinter into a thousand pieces, I staged somewhat of a personal intervention. Meditation everyday and no more Instagram on my personal phone! AirPods gone from my ears as I walked the dog! Gone my attempts at multi-tasking badly, instead organising my days into sizeable chunks dedicated to one client or project. Time to think and do and check and complete, instead of half of each and never anything in its entirety.

I’m feeling much better now, and have been thinking a lot about focus more generally. Focus on the scale of a life. My philosophical teacher — the 82-year old cheese monger at the Saturday market near my mum’s place in France — told me something once, which I was reminded of when I bought some goat’s cheese from him yesterday.

There he is! This is actually a photo from 2021, hence the mask. He doesn’t wear (or half wear) that anymore.

I had asked him if it might be easier if he got a cash machine. He said no, because there is a cash point right behind the van if anyone needs to get some, and also that he had made the decision not to worry himself with any new technology.

He had tried having a phone but he didn’t like it, he didn’t want to learn how to set up an electronic payment system when he could just take cash like always, and that instead of spending his time on things that he saw as a waste, he could focus on his three real passions: cheese, dancing, and nature. A god amongst men, truly.

To be clear, this is not a rampage against technology or a nostalgic call to a simpler time. The point is about setting aside the things that threaten to take up your hours and days, when ultimately they aren’t necessary, fun, interesting, or useful, and instead focusing those efforts on the things that you love.

As I set my brain back to rights, I felt the fidgeting — to watch a video while I ate my lunch, to check Instagram while a page loaded, to look for a podcast to listen to as I walked down the street — subside.

The space and time I had to do things felt bigger and more expansive again, and I remembered that there are things I love in life a lot more than buzzing around like a little bee — reading before bed, cooking a delicious dinner, looking at trees in the park, going to friends houses, sitting in the quiet after hours staring at a computer screen. Key to all of which, at least for me, is focusing on that one thing at a time. I’m happy I remember that now.

See you in the next one,

Annabel

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